Race Relations

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New Guy walks up to me, hands me a pair of scissors.

“Thanks man. Appreciate it.”

Me; “Cool. Who’d you get them from?”

New Guy: “I didn’t get them from you?”

Me: “Nah…but I know. All of us White dudes look alike.”

New Guy laughing; “Ya got me. Ya got me. Pay back. Pay back.”

I just chuckled and let him in the office to give them back to the other White guy in the office.

#LMAO

 

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Angry Turkey

https://i2.wp.com/xanapus.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/angry-turkey-300x289.jpg

Don’t make me call ’em!

I will if I have to…

(I love this pic.  It cracks me up.)

Benjamin Franklin on the Turkey:

“I am on this account not displeased that the figure is not known as a Eagle, but looks more like a Turkey. For the truth the Turkey is in comparison a much more respectable bird, and withal a true original native of America . . . He is besides, though a little vain & silly, a bird of courage, and would not hesitate to attack a grenadier of the British Guards who should presume to invade his farm yard with a red coat on.

13! 13! 13!

https://i1.wp.com/images-3.redbubble.net/img/art/size:large/view:main/504331-4-a-man-looking-through-a-hole-in-the-fence.jpg

I was walking past the mental hospital the other day,
And all the patients were shouting, ’13….13….13.’

The fence was too high to see over, but I saw a
Little gap in the planks, so I looked through to see
What was going on…..

Some idiot poked me in the eye with a stick!

Then they all started shouting ’14….14….14’…

Phases of Work

Phase 1


You are listening to jazz — Your first day at work is great. Your coworkers are wonderful, your cubicle is cute, and your boss is the best!

Phase 2


You are listening to pop music — After a while you are so busy that you are not sure if you’re coming or going anymore.

Phase 3


You are listening to heavy metal — This is what you feel like at month end.


Phase 4


You are listening to hip hop — You become bloated due to stress, feel sluggish and suffer from constipation. Your coworkers are too cheerful for your liking and the walls of your cubicle are closing in. You have started thinking ‘WHATEVER’ about your boss.


Phase 5


You are listening to GANGSTA RAP — After more time passes, your eyes start to twitch, you forget what a ‘good hair day’ feels like as you just fall out of bed and load up on caffeine.


Phase 6


You are listening to the voices in your head — You have built a makeshift door on your cubicle to keep people out, You have a dartboard with your bosses picture on it in your cube, You wonder why you are even here in the first place.